Cuyahoga Fails Still Punk As Fuck Review
Cuyahoga Fails
Still Punk As Fuck
Self-Released
2025
Ohio has always been ground zero for Punk Rock shenanigans, and that fact is hammered home once again with the release of Cuyahoga Fails’ debut full-length “Still Punk As Fuck.”
Cuyahoga Fails is made up of the leftovers of the old Horror Punk band Horror Of 59 and a handful of other crusty Punk bands you’ve probably never heard of. I say that half-jokingly, but I also lifted it straight from their bio. After spinning this debut, I’m starting to feel like I actually missed out on those “unknown” bands they’re talking about…
I picked up CF’s demo “Come Fail Away” a few years back and dug it quite a bit. I still have ties to former Horror Of 59 vocalist Bobnoxious, and I was a big fan of that band, so checking out Bob’s new gig was a no-brainer. The demo was solid for what it was, apparently, we never reviewed it though… my bad. Consider this the long-overdue course correction.
A handful of tracks from the demo resurface on “Still Punk As Fuck,” and that’s a good thing. Hearing songs you already like come back louder, tighter, and better recorded is always a win. What really makes CF click, though, is the lyrical chaos. It’s random as hell - reads like a bunch of grumpy old men on a front porch bitching about whatever happens to cross their line of sight. That might very well be the entire point. This isn’t your run-of-the-mill Punk Rock, and the music doesn’t pretend to be either. Sonically, CF leans hard into the Ramones, The Stooges, and MC5 camp, and you don’t fuck with that lineage. I don’t care if they’re singing about Mexican Pizzas or an HOA, it works.
There’s a surprising amount of melody baked into this record; hell, you could even call it pop-leaning. Before anyone panics, we’re talking about Ramones pop, not Blink-182 nonsense. The band has that four-on-the-floor stomp locked in, amps dimed, no frills, no apologies. Bobnoxious has always had a smooth delivery, and here he sounds exactly like what he is: a working-class Punk Rock vocalist with mileage and zero interest in polishing the edges.
Cuyahoga Fails is the kind of Indy Punk band you expect to stumble into on a random Friday night at a dive bar - the kind where PBR on tap is a dollar, the bathrooms are wallpapered in stickers, and someone is either puking, fucking, or shooting up in one of the stalls. This is Punk Rock that isn’t trying to maul everything in sight, it’s just loud honest fun. Exactly how it should be.
Standouts – “Broflake”, “Angry Red Planet”, “You”, “Goodbye Cruel Girl” and “Mexican Pizza”.